really<\/em> mean when you’re asking such questions.<\/p>\nBut trust me moms and dads, what you mean<\/strong> and what they perceive<\/strong> are two very different things. And the weight of these questions do add up. On top of that, the moment you give your child an avenue to be negative, they’ll choose it.<\/p>\nNot always, but if practice was particularly hard one night (as it should be) then there’s a high possibility that complaints are coming your way.<\/p>\n
Humans love to vent. And we definitely love to focus on the negative. It’s so easy. Hell, it’s practically in our nature.<\/p>\n
Don’t believe me? Just turn on the news at anytime, and you’ll see what I mean.<\/p>\n
So if these are the “wrong” questions to ask, what should<\/span> you be asking?<\/h4>\nIn short, you should be asking what I like to call positive one-way questions<\/strong>. Here are a few examples off the top of my head:<\/p>\n\n- “Hi honey, so what’s one thing you were you most proud of today?”<\/li>\n
- “Hey kiddo, so tell me, what’s one new thing you learned today?”<\/li>\n
- “Hi sweetheart, I just wanna know one thing: did you try your hardest in practice today?” (if it’s a no, you can dig further as to why, then emphasize that as long as they do their best, you’re happy because you know they’ll be great.)<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
You’ll notice that with these questions, your child is forced to pluck out what went right<\/em> with their practice, not what went wrong.<\/p>\nLook, in competitive sports we coaches are already hard on our athletes. We have to be. Every skill your child needs to compete at the highest level comes from being pushed outside their comfort zone.<\/p>\n
Resistance;<\/strong> whether in the gym or in life, is what builds strength and develops growth.<\/p>\nBut if an athlete feels that when they go to the gym there are high expectations to be met (resistance), then when they get home there are even MORE high expectations to be met (more resistance), they’ll crack under that pressure.<\/p>\n
Maybe not today or tomorrow. But at some point, they will. I’ve seen it all too often. So give them a mental break. Start asking positive one-way questions and direct their mind away from expectations and outcomes and instead, make it a habit to focus on personal effort and growth.<\/p>\n
Seriously, who cares if they had a bad tumbling day? Everyone has them!<\/p>\n
You show me someone who’s never had a bad tumbling day, and I’ll show you someone who can’t do a cartwheel to save their life.<\/p>\n
The real question is, can your child extract valuable lessons from such a day, and are they proud of themselves for pushing through training even when it sucked?<\/p>\n
If so, then success is inevitable.<\/p>\n
Why?<\/p>\n
Because it helps them build resilience; a key ingredient to success.<\/p>\n
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“Resistance; whether in the gym or in life, is what builds strength and develops growth” (
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